Conefusionism

A conceptual look at safety from the point of view of Cone, a humble traffic cone.

Since his youthful days in the early 1900s, Cone has been obsessed with safety. He’s like a vigilant guardian, always on the lookout for lurking dangers, ready to spring into action to shield others from harm’s way. Cone’s bravery often leads him to confront peril head-on, willingly putting himself in harm’s path!

However, lately, Cone’s journey has hit a rough patch. As his physical form shifted from rubber to plastic over the years, so too did his emotional landscape. The values he once held dear and the social norms he adhered to have undergone a profound evolution.

In this modern era, the concept of ‘safety’ has taken on new dimensions. It’s not just about physical protection anymore; now, it encompasses psychological well-being. Trust, empathy, and open communication are the cornerstones of this newfound definition. Cone finds himself grappling with how to navigate this shifting paradigm.

Each week brings with it a fresh wave of existential ponderings for Cone. As he delves deeper into the intricacies of empathy and explores his feminine side, he immerses himself in a myriad of experiences, contemplating his place in the grand tapestry of existence. It dawns on him that his impact on the vast world around him may be but a mere ripple in the ocean of life, but that the should still try. Thus, he christens his quest ‘Conefusionism’.

Conefusionism (cone-fused with-onism and cone + confusion), a fusion of Cone’s essence with the existential concept of Onism, encapsulates his philosophy (Onism is the distress we feel upon realizing how little of the world we will experience, being stuck in just one body that inhabits only one place at a time). Conefusionism is a rallying cry against the trivialities of existence, urging one to seize the moment and embrace life’s complexities.

Along his journey, Cone has formulated the five tenets of Conefusionism:

  1. Dare to think unsafely: Push the boundaries of conventional wisdom, dare to question the status quo, and explore uncharted territories of thought and action.
  2. Embrace purpose: Infuse every moment with meaning, no matter how seemingly insignificant, and leave an indelible mark on the world.
  3. Revel in the ordinary: Find beauty in the mundane, savor the simple pleasures of everyday life, and take time to appreciate the wonders that surround you.
  4. Cherish connections: Treasure the bonds of friendship, camaraderie, and love, and never take the presence of loved ones for granted.
  5. Honour diversity: Embrace the richness of differing perspectives and strive to understand and respect the myriad ways in which individuals experience the world.

As the tenets of Conefusionism have gained traction, a global movement has been born. Its influence stretches far and wide, transcending borders and uniting individuals from all walks of life in their quest for meaning and fulfillment.

The Adventures of Cone

  • Tipsy Cone

    Tipsy Cone

    Cone and friends use the street line to steady themselves after a wild night out.

  • Sheepish Cone

    Sheepish Cone

    Cone stares into a funhouse mirror and suddenly understands emotional eating.

  • Faceted Cone

    Faceted Cone

    Cone experiments with cubism and hasn’t felt whole since.

  • Boogying Cone

    Boogying Cone

    Cone lets loose and interprets East Coast Swing as advanced wobbling.

  • Blinking Cone

    Blinking Cone

    Cone covers for Lighthouse while it attends a mandatory beam alignment seminar.

  • Ostentatious Cone

    Ostentatious Cone

    Cone sips Black Ivory Coffee as he gets ready for the Met Gala.

  • Escaping Cone

    Escaping Cone

    Cone busts out of imprisonment with the help of powerful rocket boosters.

  • Imprisoned Cone

    Imprisoned Cone

    Cone has a visitation with his friend at the Philawater Department of Corrections.

  • Hindered Cone

    Hindered Cone

    Cone followed the map to the ‘X’— but apparently, so did a developer.

  • Eager Cone

    Eager Cone

    Cone can’t wait to tell his friend Eeyore about the tail that he found.

  • Persistent Cone

    Persistent Cone

    Cone spent an entire afternoon trying to astral project, but to no avail.

  • Amorous Cone

    Amorous Cone

    Cone is all fired up and in the mood for love.

  • Unusual Cone

    Unusual Cone

    Cone expresses his individuality and personal freedom with a radically blue, curly hairstyle.

  • Relieved Cone

    Relieved Cone

    Cone is comforted to know that he isn’t shooting blanks.

  • Optimistic Cone

    Optimistic Cone

    Cone feels lightheartedly hopeful about reaching solid ground sometime soon.

  • Resigned Cone

    Resigned Cone

    Cone stands in line for service but it does not look hopeful.

  • Captive Cone

    Captive Cone

    Cone is trapped by society’s barriers, his soul broken by a sense of division.

  • Dancing Cone

    Dancing Cone

    Cone throws himself into a wild dance, but gravity proves to be a real challenge.

  • Unsure Cone

    Unsure Cone

    Cone wonders what has made Puddle act so cold and unresponsive today.

  • Reminiscing Cone

    Reminiscing Cone

    Cone enjoys admiring some paintings from his Blue Period.

  • Confined Cone

    Confined Cone

    Cone and Bird feel boxed in by walls, invisible force fields and unspoken rules.

  • Collapsed Cone

    Collapsed Cone

    Cone expected to shrink with age, but this is ridiculous!

  • Connected Cone

    Connected Cone

    Cone and friends tether to each other to brave the treacherous snow and ice.

  • Hungry Cone

    Hungry Cone

    Cone restricts his diet to things that look like him to maintain his shape and distinctive physique.

  • Penitent Cone

    Penitent Cone

    Cone’s prank bombed, and now he’s busted for breaking a cardinal safety rule.

  • Thespian Cone

    Thespian Cone

    Cone goes full E.T., lighting up his finger to guide the bike through the night.

  • Chivalrous Cone

    Chivalrous Cone

    Cone tries to be a gentleman but suspects his manual is out of date.

  • Relieved Cone

    Relieved Cone

    Cone bends down deeper than ever, determined to evict his gallstone for good.

  • Manifesting Cone

    Manifesting Cone

    Cone blinks 24 times, and with each blink, his vision grows more wonderfully pixelated.

  • Passionate Cone

    Passionate Cone

    Cone realizes that the moon’s mysterious influence has awakened powerful emotions within him.