Conefusionism

A conceptual look at safety from the point of view of Cone, a humble traffic cone.

Since his youthful days in the early 1900s, Cone has been obsessed with safety. He’s like a vigilant guardian, always on the lookout for lurking dangers, ready to spring into action to shield others from harm’s way. Cone’s bravery often leads him to confront peril head-on, willingly putting himself in harm’s path!

However, lately, Cone’s journey has hit a rough patch. As his physical form shifted from rubber to plastic over the years, so too did his emotional landscape. The values he once held dear and the social norms he adhered to have undergone a profound evolution.

In this modern era, the concept of ‘safety’ has taken on new dimensions. It’s not just about physical protection anymore; now, it encompasses psychological well-being. Trust, empathy, and open communication are the cornerstones of this newfound definition. Cone finds himself grappling with how to navigate this shifting paradigm.

Each week brings with it a fresh wave of existential ponderings for Cone. As he delves deeper into the intricacies of empathy and explores his feminine side, he immerses himself in a myriad of experiences, contemplating his place in the grand tapestry of existence. It dawns on him that his impact on the vast world around him may be but a mere ripple in the ocean of life, but that the should still try. Thus, he christens his quest ‘Conefusionism’.

Conefusionism (cone-fused with-onism and cone + confusion), a fusion of Cone’s essence with the existential concept of Onism, encapsulates his philosophy (Onism is the distress we feel upon realizing how little of the world we will experience, being stuck in just one body that inhabits only one place at a time). Conefusionism is a rallying cry against the trivialities of existence, urging one to seize the moment and embrace life’s complexities.

Along his journey, Cone has formulated the five tenets of Conefusionism:

  1. Dare to think unsafely: Push the boundaries of conventional wisdom, dare to question the status quo, and explore uncharted territories of thought and action.
  2. Embrace purpose: Infuse every moment with meaning, no matter how seemingly insignificant, and leave an indelible mark on the world.
  3. Revel in the ordinary: Find beauty in the mundane, savor the simple pleasures of everyday life, and take time to appreciate the wonders that surround you.
  4. Cherish connections: Treasure the bonds of friendship, camaraderie, and love, and never take the presence of loved ones for granted.
  5. Honour differences: Embrace the richness of differing perspectives and strive to understand and respect the myriad ways in which individuals experience the world.

As the tenets of Conefusionism have gained traction, a global movement has been born. Its influence stretches far and wide, transcending borders and uniting individuals from all walks of life in their quest for meaning and fulfillment.

The Adventures of Cone

  • Dull Cone

    Dull Cone

    Cone would like to join in the conversation but worries that his views might be too pedestrian.

  • Intimidated Cone

    Intimidated Cone

    Cone ignores road markings and crosses the solid white line into forbidden territory.

  • Insecure Cone

    Insecure Cone

    Cone wonders whether he truly fits in with the signage street-gangs.

  • Legless Cone

    Legless Cone

    Cone feels oddly comfortable after tripping over a hole, giggling and falling in.

  • Frustrated Cone

    Frustrated Cone

    Cone wonders why modern technology so often does not take cones into consideration.

  • Introspective Cone

    Introspective Cone

    Cone attempts to look within for inner wisdom.

  • Mortified Cone

    Mortified Cone

    Cone gets high, is suddenly embarrassed, and hides under a disheveled shirt.

  • Panicked Cone

    Panicked Cone

    Cone peeks over the edge and immediately wishes he hadn’t.

  • Clumsy Cone

    Clumsy Cone

    Cone charged ahead in the obstacle race but tripped on a hazard right out of the gate.

  • Undercover Cone

    Undercover Cone

    Cone takes on a covert operation to uncover hidden hazards.

  • Sinister Cone

    Sinister Cone

    Cone shuffles forward in a terrifying stroll, dragging one leg behind him.

  • Spinning Cone

    Spinning Cone

    Cone spirals into a vortex, landing somewhere between nausea and enlightenment.

  • Exploding Cone

    Exploding Cone

    Cone explodes onto stage with less ‘entrance’ and more all-out drama

  • Stationary Cone

    Stationary Cone

    Cone rolls with the punches while others jump to get to what’s real.

  • Lost Cone

    Lost Cone

    Cone discovers his survival skills are mostly decorative.

  • Ingenious Cone

    Ingenious Cone

    Cone Alone: taped off, but perfectly placed to trip up burglars.

  • Uneasy Cone

    Uneasy Cone

    Cone fears Ott2ILE is rude slang, which is awkward since he’s already said it twice.

  • Discarded Cone

    Discarded Cone

    Cone abandons all hope of escaping the judgment of pedestrians.

  • Stealthy Cone

    Stealthy Cone

    Cone makes like a ninja: silent, deadly, and fluorescent orange.

  • Sinking Cone

    Sinking Cone

    Cone climbs hard but keeps falling between two emotionally incompatible realities.

  • Surprised Cone

    Surprised Cone

    Cone’s endoscope found a cube inside, proof that square pegs do fit in round holes!

  • Textured Cone

    Textured Cone

    Cone tries living in Ansel Adams’ black and white world; high contrast, extra dramatic, and a bit grainy

  • Warped Cone

    Warped Cone

    Cone melts his self-portrait and calls it “emotionally honest.”

  • Dismayed Cone

    Dismayed Cone

    Cone can’t believe the sky grows its own cotton candy.

  • Tipsy Cone

    Tipsy Cone

    Cone and friends use the street line to steady themselves after a wild night out.

  • Faceted Cone

    Faceted Cone

    Cone experiments with cubism and hasn’t felt whole since.

  • Boogying Cone

    Boogying Cone

    Cone lets loose and interprets East Coast Swing as advanced wobbling.

  • Ostentatious Cone

    Ostentatious Cone

    Cone sips Black Ivory Coffee as he gets ready for the Met Gala.

  • Escaping Cone

    Escaping Cone

    Cone busts out of imprisonment with the help of powerful rocket boosters.

  • Imprisoned Cone

    Imprisoned Cone

    Cone has a visitation with his friend at the Philawater Department of Corrections.